Sometimes things happen and you don't know why. You don't want them too. You don't get why they did. You question everything. And after all the thinking and over analyzing and criticizing your suddenly drawing blanks. You suddenly are numb. I am numb. I am scared. I am alone. And I don't know why. All I know is that I want to run away. So terribly far away till I know nothing except my name. Till I have nothing except a bag, myself, my camera and god. I want to do something so crazy that I wont even have time for 20 seconds of insane courage. Something that has to happen right then and there. I am now in the point of my life where I don't believe anything anyone says. I don't trust anyone. I just love them but don't let them love me. Because I wont be staying long. I think when I lost "you". I did lose part of me. But I also gained a new me.
But that doesn't make me sad. That makes me excited to see what I have to find. I mean I am terrified everyday that I wake because I don't know what the day holds for me. But that fear is what keeps me going. That fear is what reminds me that I have to keep going in order to discover new things. I am so scared of being alone but I think its time that I learn how to do it. I have depended too much on people and now I am just going to depend on me and heavenly father. I know that I am not perfect and that I am certainly more to handle then most people. But I need to find people who will accept that. Because I am already broken and I don't need people breaking me even more. This is me, trying to make a better me. I just hope that people can accept that. Sorry for ranting. I'm done now.
But that doesn't make me sad. That makes me excited to see what I have to find. I mean I am terrified everyday that I wake because I don't know what the day holds for me. But that fear is what keeps me going. That fear is what reminds me that I have to keep going in order to discover new things. I am so scared of being alone but I think its time that I learn how to do it. I have depended too much on people and now I am just going to depend on me and heavenly father. I know that I am not perfect and that I am certainly more to handle then most people. But I need to find people who will accept that. Because I am already broken and I don't need people breaking me even more. This is me, trying to make a better me. I just hope that people can accept that. Sorry for ranting. I'm done now.
K bye.
Be True
Be You
Be Beautiful
Stuff:
Haaaa wow I just realized how awkwardly bipolar these pictures are...blaahh oh well I liked em.
Oh...and my break was SUPER awesome...except minus a few things that I could of lived without. But besides those....IT ROCKED. WAAAAAHHOOOOOO.
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