Wait...WHAT?

Wait....WHAT? 

That's probably what you are saying as you're reading this.

Why?

BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN ALMOST A YEAR SINCE MY LAST BLOG POST.

I know I say this every time guys....BUT I'M BACK 

*hopefully for good*

So here's what's new. EVERYTHING. I don't have much going on with my life right now. No school. No job. No NOTHING. And I can see where you guys would think that I am an absolute failure for that, cause well....in a way that means I'm not necessarily going anywhere, right?

 WRONG.

Truth be told I AM going somewhere! I am on a path to find out who I am. I am on a path of pure happiness. 

So far so good!

And you might ask...how? How do you find pure happiness?

Well. I will tell you the secrets and tools to pure happiness.

Are you ready?

...

Okay, here they are:

 faith

trust
passion

family

prayer

friends
patience

confidence

love
chocolate

tears

bubble baths

Now some of these might make sense to you, some might not. I'll explain what each one has done for me.

First up is Faith:

I have had a hard time putting faith into things, people and in myself. I have been scared to really let it all go and just move forward with nothing to catch me. But I decided to make a change. After many mistakes and many trials, I have learned that without faith you will sit in your room or your office or whatever your safe place may be for the rest of your life UNLESS you can finally learn that even though you can't see the safety net, that doesn't mean that it isn't there. You must have faith that even if you fall, you will be caught. It might be hard but guys, PUTTING FAITH INTO OTHER PEOPLE IS OKAY. 

I know, its been hard and tricky because people do often let you own, but not everyone. I have been let down by many, many people. But I have also been carried on by many others. Because I learned that not everyone is going to hurt me. 

Trust:
Now this is an interesting thing for me. I go back and forth with this. I trust easily and then I don't. Usually what happens is something will happen to me which will flip that trust switch right off then after awhile I will get over it and it'll flip back on. That makes sense. But what doesn't make sense is why I don't ALWAYS trust myself. You can trust whoever you want, but you need to learn to always trust you. If you are a person with zero common sense though, I don't recommend following that. Sorry. Anyways, where I was really going with this is trust your gut feeling. Don't follow the head or the heart. Go with your gut. Cause that is you deep down telling you what to do. TRUST THAT. 

Passion:

Find what makes your heart skip a beat and don't stop. Find something that drives you crazy but makes you feel balanced. 

Family:

Family is simply the greatest thing that you could fill your life with. They are the people that no matter the choice you make, you know you'll always be stuck with. I happen to be lucky and I have a close relationship with almost everyone in my family. I am blessed with many best friends and teachers. I have had times where I thought I wanted to get out of the house and be on my own but to be honest, I live 20 minutes away from my mom and I HATE IT. Cause seriously, she is the coolest lady around, and she is my hero. Without my family, life would be a lot harder to understand.

Prayer:

Simply a blessing to have the ability to talk to heavenly father whenever you want. I have struggled a lot the last few years with the church and with what I really believed. I had times where I felt so horribly alone, and no matter how many times I prayed that feeling never went away. I stopped going to church, stopped praying, stopped everything. I lost a part of me. I had a really hard time in high school. Dealt with a lot that people never knew about. And it never got easier. I had abusive relationships and I had a lot of battles with how I viewed myself. To some people I sound like I have the classic teenage struggles, but it was a lot more than that. I hated my body and I hated what I was letting happen to me. I let myself go through some things that I shouldn't of. I mistreated people that were my friends because of how lost I was. And I cried. A lot. And the only times I felt true comfort was when I got down on my knees and I prayed with nothing but my whole heart. And I listened. These last months have been a lot of me listening to my heavenly father, and me talking to him. When I need help with something, I pray. When I feel lost, I pray. Its a simple, yet very powerful thing. I believe prayer can heal you. When I grew closer to God, I grew closer to others and to myself. I found confidence in myself and I found joy. I don't dismiss what my past holds but I don't let it hold me down either. 

Friends:

I don't really have the best mind set on this topic to be honest. Friends haven't always been easy for me to keep. I know a lot of people, but that doesn't mean each one is my friend. There is a difference and I just want to clarify that. I always did fine with talking to people, but when it comes to getting people to become my real friend and actually stick around, now that is a whole other story. I have an issue when it comes to keeping my mouth shut. I have an opinion and I forget that not everyone wants it. So people tend to disagree, girls tend to get jealous and I tend to end up without friends. In high school anyways. When you graduate, everyone you could possibly know drifts from your lift slowly. People grow up, but you have to find those few people that will be your friends for a very long time. I am happy to say that no matter what I have my few friends. I don't look to have a lot of people to constantly talk to anymore. I look for the people who I can go to at all times and for the ones I know I can trust. Those are the people I keep around.

Patience:

WOW DO I SUCK AT THIS! Okay guys, this is important. PATIENCE IS KEY. Got it?

I always do this thing where I try to rush my life and I try to see where the end is. I skip all the good stuff! I have to remind myself (more like Ben has to remind me) to calm down, breathe and be patient. If you try to rush your life you will miss out on a lot of amazing things. But if you learn to trust, have faith and be patient then you are set. The Lord knows where you are going and you have to remember that. Be patient in his plan and love the life that you have. Love it and live it day by day.

Confidence:

You. Are. Amazing. Tell yourself that every morning. Even if you don't believe it. Keep telling yourself that until one day you believe it. Girl or boy, confidence is important. Because you are amazing and you matter. As I mentioned earlier I didn't have much confidence in myself before. But over time I realized that was lame. That I was just as important as the next person. I promise it's not easy getting yourself to think like that, I know. But it GETS easy. Find what you don't like, and change it to what YOU want it to be. If people think its stupid that you are uncomfortable with that certain thing, SCREW THEM! Its your body, your life. And the most important opinion and view is your own when it comes to this. If you are happy with the way you look, but someone else isn't and they tell you things that tear you down, do your absolute best to ignore them. Go home and grab some eggs and throw it at their house. Or maybe just imagine you doing that...that works too. You are imperfect but being imperfect is not a bad thing. Being imperfect is a beautiful thing.

Love:

Four letters, one word. A life changing feeling. Love can be felt in a thousand different ways, but everyone in the end is looking for that one. That one specific feeling. Love is pain that you want to feel over and over again. Love is the feeling of being weightless. Love is home. Its the feeling of being on top of the world. 

But it also is the one thing that can bring people crashing into the ground. 

Love is worth it though.

Okay, now do this:

Think about the last time you looked at someone you were in love with and think real hard about what you felt. Remember that feeling. If they are gone. Remember that. If they are with you. Remember that. Because no matter what, you can't deny that feeling. And you can't deny that it is the absolute best feeling, even if it hurts.

Now think about the last time you were with someone you loved. Family or friend or whoever. Now that is an entirely different feeling, but it is still strong. That feeling is warmth and comfort. Remember that feeling.

Now take both of those feelings and remember them for whenever you are sad. Because love is one of the strongest and most complicated feelings, but it is good. Single or in a relationship, you always have a form of love. And guys, you really won't be single forever. I can promise you that. Don't dwell on the heartbreak, but get excited for the day that you fall totally and completely in love. 

Chocolate:

This is a VERY important tool for surviving. Okay, so here is what you do:

Dig in your couch for change.

Go to the store and spend 10 minutes deciding which kind of chocolate to get.

Now go sit on the porch and eat your chocolate.

Simple task, but it leaves you very satisfied. 

I thoroughly believe chocolate can heal a broken heart.

Tears:

I spend a lot of time talking about what you can do to smile and feel better but one thing I have learned is that its OKAY to cry. In fact, cry often! Crying releases feelings and leaves you empty. And for awhile not feeling anything is okay. Crying leaves your mind drained and tired. You know what I'm talking about? When you cry so hard, that you literally have nothing left and you feel so drained that your mind can't produce one more thought. I have had bad and good tears. The bad ones have made it a lot easier for me to notice the good in my life. Pain shows you what joy is. So if you are ever on the verge of tears, do what I said earlier and grab some chocolate and go cry. Heck, you can cry with a friend.
(I cried to Ben a thousand times and look where we are now) 

And last but not least  is Bubble Baths: 

GLORY, GLORY HALLELUJAH! For these things are soul healers. I think bubble baths are one of the best tools for life. There isn't much to be said here except this:

Take some time out of your day, and go fill the tub up with warm water and bubbles.

Grab some head phones and your Ipod and listen to whatever it may be that makes you feel good.

And simply let it all go.

Doing this every now and again is important. You need to relax in your life and take some time out for yourself. This is the best way to do it.

Basically life is long, crazy and wicked. And no matter what, you will have bumps along the way. But I promise if you use some of these not so secret secrets, then you will have it a little bit easier.

And that's a wrap! Thanks for reading my SUPER long post. I promise they aren't usually going to be this long. Tomorrow I will post the recipe I found for super yummy and easy chocolate molten cakes. You won't regret wasting your time reading. 

Talk to you soon!