I don't know what it is about the month of October but it always seems to be a BIG month for me. Last year on this day was the wonderful start of a long dramatic desperate year full of hear ache. It was also the month that started to change me and everything around me. I am honestly great-full for the pain I carried around last year. If it wasn't for last year I know I most certainly wouldn't be what I am today. There was a lot that could of been done DIFFERENTLY in October that's for sure. But that doesn't mean I need to dwell on something that made me a better person. I see people everyday who are sad because of a mistake they have made or something that has happened so long ago. I want to tell you all those mistakes are now more of a lesson to you. The past has made you exactly what you are today. And that is an amazing beautiful person. The past is something that has created you. The past is what has set you up for the today and the tomorrow. If you can learn to look and learn from the past instead on dwell on it....then your life will be a lot better.
This October. I decided to make it the best I can. I have already gone on my FIRST date with my great friend Mitch it was super fun! I had some.....great crazy LONG nights;) with my amazing friends Tyson, Quincey, Kirsten, Tucker, Danny anndd Daxton!:) I love you all so much:) I had my weird choir concert that has been like too many of my old ones with my sweet friend Tayler! I went to a scary haunted house thing for the first time. I fell for boy that I once again cant have. I had a kind of photo shoot (like last year)....with Tayler.
I had some crazy times this month (so far) I have made a lot of choices already.
A lot of things that have changed me. There's things I wish I could change but I have decided that whatever happens, happens for a reason so I am just going to go with it. I have realized that I need to stop thinking everyone is just super happy fine and dandy.... We don't all know what goes on in someone else's life. We need to realize that everyone else has their own story. You would be surprised by what people go through.
You may know their name,
But you dont know their story.
My new goal? Help someone everyday in some way.
It doesn't matter what it is. But that's what i'm going to do.
So those happy kids? And those quiet kids? Those mad and sad kids? Everyone?
Be nice to them.
Do you really know whats going on?
Do you honestly understand?
Watch what you say please....
it might mean a bit more then you think
I love everyone.... (some more then others...) before I couldn't say that. There was one. One person that I couldn't forgive....It did honestly take a VERY VERY VERYYYYY long time to forgive them......but in the end it was worth it.
I may be open about my self....
but that doesn't mean I trust you.
Boys? ya.....uh uh. I am a little more closed to that one. I will tell you about my past. And about who I am. But I still will be closed about REALLY letting you in. I am happy every day. But there's things that still sit in the back of my mind. I am just a human being. Who has made just as many mistakes as every other person. And every mistake I make I try to fix. I hope maybe one day people can realize that.
So as the sum of this messed up mess of thoughts:
Love people.
Accept people.
and forgive yourself and everyone around even if its hard.
Well guys I love you all.
thanks so much for reading.
follow me if you want its the only time you wont get arrested for stalking!
Stay beautiful and true to you.
Songs of the day:
But stronger? That's exactly what I am.
Quotes of the day:
"What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."
"We can't become what we need to be, by remaining what we are."
"Here is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."
Just a p.s to someone:
Everyday I regret what I did.......everyday....Im sorry I did what I did. I hurt people ok? I have said I am sorry many times. And all I want you to know is I actually mean it. I have grown up a bit too. At least admit I was wrong. I hope you realize I mean it. Dont hold yourself back from life. Because you deserve the best. Its been about a year and I want us to not be mad at each other anymore.
No comments:
Post a Comment